Dodo Bird DNA (Within Insect in Amber) SOLD
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Excavated from an amber mine in the depths of Mauritius, this block of amber contains a midge that liked to feast on the blood of ancient dodos, according to a local mystic we consulted for 5 Mauritian Rupees.
Essentially, this means that after a crash course in DNA sequencing and in-depth research of the Jurassic Park series of movies, you will probably (our lawyer Mr Wesson asked us to stress 'probably' for legal reasons) be able to create a real live dodo in your living room.
The price of this item reflects the extreme status owning a real dodo will give you. It beats the heck out of a chihuahua, doesn't it?
Imagine taking it for walks in Hyde Park as Paris Hilton tries to buy it off you.
Or maybe Gordon Ramsay will sidle up to you and beg you to sell him a dodo egg, so he can see if it tastes 'like the world's rarest omelette, yes?'.
In fact, you and your dodo will become celebrities, appearing in OK! or Hello! magazine in exchange for endorsing chocolate bars. You will never be off The Wright Stuff, or those '100 greatest' list shows. And wait... what's that ringing? It's the One Show, the Late Show and Loose Women! They want you and the dodo in tomorrow.
In fact, they just want the dodo.
But you can be at the end of the sofa, vaguely out of shot.
Of course, the opportunity to extract juice from the dodo and compete with Dodo Juice for world domination of the car care market is also available to the gullib... erm, lucky purchaser.
Serious enquiries only please.
No canvassers. First to see will buy.